Friday, February 19, 2010

Will You Be Mine? Check Yes or No

It's hard to explain my relationship with my boyfriend Jeff. We have been dating for almost 3 and a half years and we have a house, a dog, and two cats. Essentially, we have our little fur family, our jobs and school, our house...and tending to those things, and taking care of our responsibilities is our life. It unfortunately has left little time and energy left for each other. It's hard to know whether it is by our own neglect and fault of ours, or by the pace of our lives and circumstances whether we have let the flame of our love fizzle to a dull ember. Is this what it is to be in an adult relationship, to get comfortable and to grow apathetic? Or are we taking forgranted what we have and letting it die? These were the questions I posed to him the week before Valentine's day, as I felt my unrest intensify when I tried to find the words to describe how I felt in his Valentine card and nothing seemed right. My heart felt like it was breaking, and I questioned how much he really cared for me and me for him. How could this be when on the surface we co-exist so peacefully and take care of our home and our pets and our responsibilities so balanced and seamlessly? What more could I want? Emotion. Passion. And a true reminder that I was loved.
On Valentine's Day morning, Jeff was sleeping for his night shift, and I was getting ready to work the day. We literally got to see each other for 15 waking minutes, but somehow he managed to make the day seem special. With a singing greeting card, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a stamp set with the words love, always, grin, and imagine, and a silver jewelry box containing a white gold heart pendent. I felt so pleasantly surprised and relieved that he had thought of me and put such effort into the day that we wouldn't even get to spend together. The best part came when I got home though; I found a letter on my pillow explaining why I received each gift and what it represented for him. He even revealed that I was supposed to have received roses too, but the florist closed before he could pick them up. The letter was in an envelope that read "Will you be my Valentine? Check Yes or No." It made me smile, and my heart soared with the emotions that I've missed for a long time. I checked yes, and put the envelope on his side of the bed for when he came home in the morning.

I'm not a jewelry person and I don't expect lavish gifts or large expensive tokens of affection, but this occassion called for a special reminder, and he made me feel special. Now when I wear his necklace I play with the pendant throughout the day and think of him with a smile, just as he said in his letter that he hoped I would.

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